Why Is Self-Improvement So Difficult? Exploring Challenges and Solutions for Success.

Reading time 10 minutes

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In today’s newsletter

• Intro

• Thoughts

• A bit of research - industry & materials

• Personal barriers

• How do we succeed?

• Our experimental AI Mentor BuyLess

• The takeaway message

• Our mission

• Share your story

Why is self–development so difficult?

Why do we find improving so difficult? Whether it’s diet, exercise, finances, or better relationships, it just does not happen as easily as the experts make it out to be. 

No matter what you do, buying all the books, spending hours watching “advice” on YouTube, achieving actual change always seems out of reach. Change is hard, and lasting change is very hard. It’s worth it, but how do you stay laser-focused for long enough to achieve it?

Well, I decided to investigate this, and hopefully, if I’m right, I’ll be able to explain what we’re doing here at mindfulway.

Thoughts and experiences

Let’s take exercise as an example. Nothing special; I’ve always just wanted to be active and do something every day to move, get outside and work on mobility. 

Here is what I found to be challenging:

• First of all, finding the right advice that resonates with you is key. I’ve found advice that is either too generic or falls completely off the other end, being super specific, so it only applies to a small number of people. And I mean your goals and your life circumstances.

• That leads me to talk about adaptability. We have different lives: some have many kids, some work nightshifts, some drive all day, some don’t have room for the equipment, etc. Who is there to help you adapt the program? No one. You try to make it work, but it’s just too difficult, so the book goes on the shelf, and that’s the end of it.

• Thirdly, support and follow-up. If you bought a book, there is none, unless you are friends with the author. Sure, I started going to the gym with my friend, but let’s be real: Can you do that consistently all the time? He was a working parent with childcare challenges, while I wasn’t. 

• Also, are they in the same shape as you, with the same schedule and exact goals? I didn't think so. Unless you are determined to do this yourself, something will always get in the way.

• Finally, accountability. Is anyone holding you responsible for your progress? Does that even work for you? Some people might like a trainer's hands-on approach; some might not… like me. 

It depends on how disciplined you are out of the box and also on your personality. I know I have been hard on myself before, feeling guilty for not hitting the goal for the day. You need someone to say, hey, it’s ok not to be perfect all the time. 

Now, exercising is just one example. A similar set of challenges is associated with each of the many self-development topics. Let’s explore how people like learning, what are typical barriers to enacting personal growth, and what can be done about them.

What does the research say?

Interestingly, most of the data I found relate to personal development, which is not a surprise given the link with productivity (and profitability) for businesses. It’s almost like there is no data on personal success in improvements made in mental, physical, or financial health. 

Let’s see what I did manage to find: 

The Self-Improvement Industry is big. 

There is significant growth in the self-improvement industry and the increasing popularity of online courses, e-books, personal coaching, and health wellness, which reflect a growing consciousness in society about mental health, personal growth, and overall self-betterment.

The stats I found were surprising: 

• As of 2020, the self-help industry was worth $10.5 billion, with U.S. sales of self-help books growing annually to 18.6 million volumes.

• An estimated 15,000 self-help books are published in the United States each year.

• In the UK specifically, the personal development/self-help sector has expanded rapidly, with print sales crossing £50 million in 2022 after setting new records every year since 2015.

How effective are materials out there?

Research on courses and other online content highlights their effectiveness in aiding personal development. 

• General self-help treatments are at least moderately effective for a wide range of psychological distress

• Self-help treatments are more effective than non-treatment for individuals seeking personal growth and well-being

• Accessibility and cost-effectiveness are successful in reaching a large number of individuals with various difficulties and increasing prevention knowledge

I’ve done a little digging on the failure rate of self-improvement books, courses, and other online content, too:

• Many self-help resources may not consistently align with the best available research and rely on anecdotal evidence, personal stories, and unvalidated claims rather than being grounded in scientific research and psychology.

• Many studies and commentators argue that self-help books often have little to no real effect on readers. The advice given is seen as common sense, overly simplistic, or not tailored to individual circumstances.

• Self-help books can make readers who feel flawed or inadequate feel even worse about themselves by constantly highlighting what they are lacking compared to successful authors

• Self-help books have been criticised for lacking therapist responsiveness, therapist alliance or enabling people to avoid seeking proper professional support.

• Self-help materials may not always integrate specific factors that target individual personality, diagnosis, or personal circumstances.

• The self-help industry is criticized for using manipulative marketing tactics to sell books that may not actually deliver on their promises.

This aligns with my theory at the beginning, which states that while self-improvement resources are popular, there are challenges related to their effectiveness and ability to address individual needs.

The personal barriers to success: 

Ok, so we looked at the material and its effectiveness, but what about us being individuals with our own internal battles and challenges? 

Self-development is not just about following a set of instructions; it’s reflection, self-awareness and dialogue to address some of the most common underlying problems that might hinder our progress: 

• Consistency is key, but it’s often elusive. We start with enthusiasm, but maintaining that momentum over time can be tough, so we procrastinate.

• Fear of failure can paralyze progress. The thought of not succeeding or facing discomfort prevents many of us from even starting. 

• All too often, our initial enthusiasm leads us to set unrealistic goals. Breaking them down into manageable steps can lead to frustration and disappointment. 

• Going it alone can be isolating. Having someone to share progress with and hold you accountable can significantly improve your motivation.

• Change is hard. Even when we recognize the need for improvement, we may resist it. Habits, routines, and comfort zones are powerful forces. Breaking free requires effort and determination.

• The self-improvement landscape is vast. Books, podcasts, workshops, and courses bombard us with information. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed and unsure of where to start, which can lead to analysis paralysis.

• Ironically, and I said this before, being too hard on yourself can hinder progress. and self-criticism can demoralize. Self-compassion and acknowledging imperfections are crucial for sustained growth.

• Sometimes, we focus on surface-level changes without digging deeper and finding the root cause. True self-improvement involves understanding underlying beliefs, emotions, and patterns. 

• Life happens. Unexpected events, stress, and external pressures can disrupt self-improvement efforts. Balancing personal growth with life’s demands is challenging. That’s the critical point—when things get in the way, we revert to our “old” habits, compromising any progress we might have made towards lasting change.

Conclusion

Our exploration into the complexities of self-improvement has revealed that the path to success is filled with obstacles. Understanding the barriers—from the adaptability of self-help advice to the need for personalized support—highlights the critical gaps in traditional self-improvement resources.

How do we make self-improvement effective?

When using AI like ChatGPT and building our own Custom GPTs, like BuyLess - which we talked about in newsletters and podcasts, we became familiar with the importance of personalization to make AI useful for self-development. We slowly started realizing how big of an advantage personalization gives over what AI “knows” natively, but also over reading a book or listening to a podcast. 

It became clear to Michal and me that a personal mentor who helps turn self-development knowledge into an actionable and personalised experience would help people become more effective and experience a higher rate of success in their improvement journeys. 

So, we decided to create such an AI Mentor. We are building the Mindfulway App, which will redefine self-development. Stay tuned for more as we progress through building the app (if you wish to help us test, reply to this email or message us via DMs on X or Instagram). 

BuyLess

We made our first experimental mentor app, BuyLess, available in the GPT store (currently only accessible to premium subscribers - thanks, OpenAI, right?). BuyLess is a mentor that helps you reconsider any upcoming purchase. We created it to help people break the cycle of needless consumerism and prioritise value when making purchases. 

*Available for free in the OpenAI GPT Store for premium ChatGPT subscribers.

The midfulway mentor app will be released on our own platform. So keep an eye on our content and follow us on X and Instagram.

Exciting times are ahead, and we cannot wait to show you AI's immense potential for self-development.

Join Us on Our Journey

Tune into the mindfulway podcast on your favourite platform for more insights and discussions. Subscribe to our newsletter and follow us on X and Instagram to stay updated on the exciting possibilities AI offers for self-development.

See you all next time!

Andras